What is the best human experience? (#7)

Carrots and Sticks:

If you look closely, society essentially operates by incentives and penalties.

• “If you do the homework, I will give you a chocolate.”
• “If you read well and get good marks, you will be happy in your life.”
• “If you work hard, you will get a salary hike.”
• “If you show that you work hard(act smart), you will get good marks from your boss.”
• “If you have high social status, you will get respect from society.”
• “If you have an XX degree from XX college, you will be regarded highly in society.”
• “If you use this beauty product, you will look fair and young.”
• “If you use XX phone, you will look like a SWAG.”
• “If you share this app with your friends, you will get 10$ in your account.”
• "If you invest 1000 per month, you will get 5 million on your retirement."
• “If you like/subscribe to this channel, you will get interesting content.”
• “If you hurt or kill someone, you will be put behind bars.”
• “If you don't follow these rules, you will be penalized."
• “If you pray to GOD, you will go to Heaven.”

There is nothing right or wrong in following these. In fact, if we live in a society, we must abide by the legal laws of the land, but for all the other things, it is important to introspect and decide for ourselves whether dancing to others' tunes is really giving us happiness or not. I mean, in this limited time on the planet, why should we play someone else's game?" 

Dancing to our own tune:

The course I took, the books I read, and the videos I watched on psychology were mostly concerned with naming and labelling, whether it be the different parts of the brain, individual behaviours, or the factors responsible for individual behaviours.

 

The approach of the book “ Flow-The psychology of Optimal Experience” by Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi(Me-High Chick-Sent-Me-High) is interesting. The author, a psychologist, was interested in people who are happy irrespective of their background or their economic and social circumstances. To that end, he interviewed selected people (who enjoy the work they do irrespective of social incentives like money, fame etc.) from various disciplines- music composers, chess players, athletes, professors, surgeons, clerical and assembly-line workers, young mothers, retired people etc., and tried to find the answer to the following questions:

• Why do they do what they do?

• What is their state of mind while doing these activities?

• What do they experience while doing these activities that makes them continue to do them? 

Surprisingly, almost everyone (across all disciplines) he interviewed has a single thing in common. They essentially experienced a similar state of mind while doing those activities; they experienced a state of FLOW.

The Flow State:

Pic Credits: Decoding Zeitgeist

“It is a state of mind in which you are so involved in what you are doing that it (the activity) becomes spontaneous, almost automatic; you stop being aware of yourself separate from the actions you are performing. You forget about the surroundings, forget about your hunger, forget about everything, and even lose the sense of time. You almost become that activity." 

“The best moments in our lives are not the passive, receptive, relaxing times… the best moments usually occur if a person’s body or mind is stretched to its limits in a voluntary effort to accomplish something difficult and worthwhile.”

Flow Experiences (in the book):

By a Dancer:

“Your concentration is very complete. Your mind isn’t wandering, you are not thinking of something else; you are totally involved in what you are doing…Your energy is flowing very smoothly. You feel relaxed, comfortable, and energetic.”

"Two things happen. One is that it seems to pass really fast in one sense. After it is passed, it seems to have passed really fast. I see that it's 1:00 in the morning, and I say: 'Aha, just a few minutes ago, it was 8:00'. But then, while I'm dancing...it seems like it's been much longer than maybe it really was."

 

By another Dancer:

 

“Once I get into it, then I just float along, having fun, just feeling myself move around. I get sort of physical high from it..... I get very sweaty, very feverish or sort of ecstatic when everything is going really well. You move about and try to express yourself in terms of those motions. That's where it's at. It's a body language kind of communicative medium, in a way....When it's going good, I'm really expressing myself well in terms of the music and in terms of the people that are out there.

 

A chess player tells of playing in a tournament:

“… the concentration is like breathing- you never think of it. The roof could fall in, and if it missed you, you would be unaware of it.”

By a poet and rock Climber:

“ The mystique of rock climbing is climbing; you get to the top of a rock glad it’s over but really wish it would go on forever. The justification of climbing is climbing, just like the justification of poetry is writing; you don’t conquer anything except things in yourself…..the act of writing justifies poetry. Climbing is the same: recognizing that you are a flow. The purpose of flow is to keep on flowing, not looking for a peak or utopia but staying in the flow. It is not moving up but a continuous flowing; you move up to keep the flow going. There is no possible reason for climbing except the climbing itself; it is a self-communication.”

 

By a Physics professor who is also a rock climber (on climbing):

“It is as if my memory input has been cut off. All I can remember is the last thirty seconds, and all I can think ahead is the next five minutes.”

 

By a young Basketball player:

“The court- that’s all that matters….Sometimes out on the court, I think of a problem, like fighting with my steady girl, and I think that’s nothing compared to the game. You can think about a problem all day but as soon as you get in the game, the hell with it!”

By a Solo Ocean Cruiser:

“ I… experienced a sense of satisfaction coupled with some astonishment that my observations of the very distant sun from an unsteady platform and the use of some simple tables …..enable[d] a small island to be found with certainty after an ocean crossing.”

 

“Each time I feel the same mixture of astonishment, love, and pride as this new land is born, which seems to have been created for me and by me.”

A Sailor:

"I am spending a lot of money and time on this boat, but it is worth it- nothing quite compares with the feeling I get when I am out sailing."

 

A Surgeon:

"I get intellectual enjoyment- like the chess player or the academic who studies ancient Mesopotamian toothpicks....The craft is enjoyable like carpentry is fun...The gratification of taking an extremely difficult problem and making it go."

An Eye-Surgeon:

"You use fine and precise instruments. It is an exercise in art...It all rests on how precisely and artistically you do the operation. It is important to watch for details, to be neat and technically efficient. I don't like to waste motion and so try to make the operation as well-planned and thought-out as possible. I'm particular about how the needle is held, where the stitches are placed, the type of suture, and so on- things should look the best and seem easy."

A Mother who enjoys time spent with her small daughter:

“Her reading is the one thing that she’s really into, and we read together. She reads to me, and I read to her, and that’s a time when I sort of lost touch with the rest of the world, I‘m totally absorbed in what I’m doing.”

Flow can be experienced in living a simple life as well. Click here for a story. 

REALIZATION:

After I read this book, 

I understood why I like the work of a particular mechanic at my workplace.

I understood why I prefer the food from a particular street vendor to a five-star hotel.

I understood why I enjoy a few conversations.

I understood why I enjoy spending time with my cute little niece.

I understood why I enjoy only a few songs, books or movies.

I understood why I did not like my job.

I was no more in double minds about the career change. 

I was not sure whether the new career path would give me such experiences, but I was pretty sure of what I eventually wanted from the work I do- the work through which I trade most of my waking hours for MONEY.

What's the point of living a human life if I don't try to maximize these wonderful moments- the moments only a few humans can experience in their life? 

I had thought about a few aspects that will be conducive to achieving this state in my new career path.

What aspects did I take into account when changing my career?

I will share it in my next post.