Vipassana to Casino (#9)

Pic Credits: pixabay.com/jingoba

Vipassana 2.0:

After receiving the admission from the University I had hoped for, I initially thought of going on a solo trip, but ultimately decided to go to Vipassana. 

For me, Vipassana is a terrific tool to reflect and spend time with myself, away from all the social conditioning.

I was assigned a single room, this time at the meditation centre. Everything went well except for one weird experience.

On the fifth or sixth day, while checking my bag for something, I found my iPad (I don't remember exactly whether it was left by accident or was a conscious play by my monkey mind). Then, my monkey mind persuaded me with some sound, logical arguments on reading a book, saying things like "It is harmless", "Reflect on what you read. It will be great", " You may not get this free time again", and so on. I succumbed to it eventually, read a few pages at night, and went to sleep.

After some time, a terrifying image jolted me out of sleep (not of a person or a ghost, but a very peculiar and weird one). I cannot explain it, but it was so vivid. I never believed in Gods/ghosts, but that image made me sleepless for a long time that night. Eventually, I slept. 

The next day morning, as usual, I went to the hall and sat for meditation. That same image kept coming back the moment I closed my eyes. I struggled to get rid of it, but it was in vain. I finally decided not to open the iPad again. During the break, I ran to my room, turned off the iPad and put it back. Strangely, that image had gone into the background. It was no more. I can vaguely recall that image even now. But it is harmless. 

Anyway, altogether, I had a better experience than the last time. I could sit for longer times, experienced strange emotions within myself and got some great insights on my decisions as well. Also, I was even more curious about Buddha. As soon as I got home, I watched documentaries about him. I looked for books on him but eventually got my hands on "Siddhartha" by Herman Hesse- a decent book which is not about Buddha but contains his spirit.

Iron-Free:

After Vipassana, a road trip(with friends), and getting my Visa approval, I went under the knife again. This time, voluntarily, though- to get rid of the screws from my ankle. Despite my family's suggestion to postpone the date of surgery, I went ahead and underwent it on the day before my birthday; I spent my birthday in a hospital bed.

Fortunately, everything went well. I was finally back on my natural feet- free from an external, redundant scaffolding.

Work-Free:

After recovering from my surgery and resuming office, I gave my resignation. My colleagues had given a grand farewell, and my boss made it very special for me. Surprisingly, despite working for close to a decade in a (secure) Public Sector job, I did not feel an iota of emotion (neither sadness nor fear) on the last day at the office. I didn't even introspect why.

But, I was emotional when I left my flat(company quarters). It was located in the centre of the city, yet completely oblivious to the external world. Surrounded by nature, the view from my bedrooms and the balcony were the best part. I had beautiful memories too. Given a chance, I would like to buy it and keep it for myself. I know it's impossible. But that's me being silly and emotional.

Casino:

My last trip(in India) was to Goa with a couple of friends. 

Though much of the trip was uneventful, the day we went to Casino was worth remembering. I had never been to a Casino before and hence was surprised to learn how big the industry is, how much money flows into it every day, and how seriously anyone(regardless of gender) can get addicted and affected by gambling. 

A stranger gave 10k worth of coins to my friend for free-not out of generosity, but because he was out of his mind. (I vaguely remember his story- he entered the Casino for fun and eventually lost close to 3 million rupees in a matter of days. He sold his assets and even borrowed money for the game. He had been staying in the Casino full-time in the hope of recovering the money, which, unfortunately, is impossible). 

I really feel pity for him because it was not his fault. It was his mind's. Overcoming the "mind" game is the biggest game in anyone's life.

E(I)ndia:

The time had come to say goodbyes- goodbyes to everything I had built, every luxury I had and everyone I cared about. 

Armed with curiosity, confidence and a little money, with a hope for a new life- a better life, a life to live as I wished, I ENTERED THE LAND OF FREEDOM.