Need of the Hour (#17)

Pic Credits: https://www.shutterstock.com/g/sbotas

Conflicts.

Contradictions.

Once a friend called me to invite to a party. I wanted to say that I don't feel like coming. But, I didn't say that. Instead I promised him that I would. As soon as I hung up the call, I cursed myself for saying Yes.

A beggar once approached me at a four-road intersection. I didn't give money because I didn't feel like giving. Two days before, I gave money to the same beggar at the same place.

One day, I decided not to watch YouTube for the entire day.  But, I ended up spending most of the day on Youtube (spending more time than usual).

Sometimes, I feel like spending time in nature. Other times, I am curious about Intelligent machines and man-made things.

Some days, I feel like talking to my family. Other days, I like to be alone. 

Some days, I feel like talking random things with my friends. Some days, I like to have meaningful conversations. Some days, I don't want to talk anything at all.

Some days, I was angry on some issues. Other days, when I was busy in some activity, I was no more angry on the same issues.

Some days, I feel like exercising. Other days, I feel lethargic and lazy. 

Somedays I feel like working. Other days, I don't feel like it.

Some days, I don't think about what I am doing. Other days I like to reflect on what I had been doing. 

My whole life is full of these conflicts and contradictions.

But, I never gave a serious thought to all these things. 

Perhaps, I thought it was unnecessary to reflect on these trivial things. 

Perhaps, I accepted all these as a given and told myself that this is how life is.

But, over time, I understood that these little conflicts are the primary reason for my emotional turmoil- guilts/regrets/fears/anxieties/suffering/pain. 

I realized that it is important to resolve these conflicts because I understood that the same conflicts will repeat in the future as well.

I realized that I am neither Black nor White. I am just gray. Many shades of Gray.

I realized that I am unique and that there is no one to follow.

I realized that I need to design my own framework- a solid mental framework to deal with the practical world both internal and external.

I realized that this is the NEED OF THE HOUR.