Freedom in a prison- The adventure (#4)

Pic Credits- alamy.com

(If you stumble upon this post, I want you to know that this is a part of my personal story. As every story has a beginning and every episode/post has a context, I believe this post makes sense to you if you start from the beginning. Click here to go to the start.)

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I handed over all my possessions- phone, iPad, books, pens, and wallet. 

He asked me to stand in a line and wait for my turn.

My turn came. I entered my details in the incoming register and joined the group.

After everyone was finished, he began to tell the rules:

 " My dear friends, for the next 10 days,

1. You should not talk to anyone. (Absolutely no talk not even whispers).
2. Some of you are given a single room. Some have to share with another person. No matter what, you should not talk (not even in your rooms).
3. You should not even make eye contact with anyone.
4. You will be served food twice a day(Breakfast at 6.30 AM and lunch at 11 AM). An evening tea break (at 5 PM) is the last you get for the day. 
5. You will be given a plate and a glass. You are supposed to use only them throughout your stay.
6. Your day starts at 4.30 AM and ends at 9.30 PM. There are some breaks in between. 
7. But for the most part of the day, you have to sit and work.
8. By the way, you can't sit just anywhere. We have identified a place for each of you and you should sit only there throughout the period.
9. What's the work- MEDITATE. "

It is not a prison. It's a Vipassana Meditation Center, and I went for a 10-day meditation program. 

This is the adventure I talked about in my previous post. Is there anything more adventurous than delving into the recesses of our own minds?

Before this, I'd never meditated in my life. The only time I tried, was when I was recovering from my ankle surgery. (Believe me, I tried everything at that time). My depression doubled after trying it. So, I thought it was absolute B.S. and threw it in the trash.

(By the way, I am not a religious person and consider myself agnostic. Click here to know about my religious views.) 

Destiny or Random?

I first heard about Vipassana from a friend many years before my ankle incident. At the time, I thought it was insane and a waste of a man's valuable 10 days of life. I didn't even consider it at the time.

Many years later, I heard it from another friend. But this time, it was different. My ankle incident had occurred by this time, and I had already delved into understanding the brain or mind. 

So, my vantage point was different. 

This time, I was excited by the idea of going to a place on the outskirts away from pollution, away from people, without a mobile, surrounded by nature and shutting off even my own senses to meditate for 10 days.

The icing on the cake is "It is free". They don't charge a single penny. You can donate (if you want to) after you complete your 10 days. There is no force, though. 

This time it struck me as very pure. So, I went for it.

My experience:

The Juice:

Initially, I was sceptical of any preaching or dogma there. Fortunately, there isn't. There were no idols. There were no rituals. Every day, there was a one-hour discourse in the evening. The discourse, however, did not teach any dogma or belief. The only thing expected of me was silence and not disturbing others. They follow Buddha's famous adage-

"Believe nothing, no matter where you read it, or who said it, no matter if I have said it, unless it agrees with your own reason and your own common sense."- Goutama Buddha.

• I don't remember exactly, but the first 2 or 3 days were the toughest. I was not even able to sit properly. (I had an excuse for screws and plates in my ankle. So, I felt more uncomfortable). But gradually, I adapted to it.
• The best experience was observing the dance and drama of the mind. I realised that we can re-create full-length movies just by closing our eyes. During one of the meditation periods, I remembered, with absolute clarity, the face of a person who came to my class when I was in 3rd grade. I was surprised beyond belief because I had only seen him once, and I am sure that I would never recall him if I were outside in the practical world. 
• Another great experience was discovering how quickly our brain adapts to the environment. Eating only twice a day, waking up early, following routines, sitting for longer times and, more importantly, getting oblivious to physical pain. The physical pain part was a shocking revelation to me. Our minds are truly incredible.
• Aside from meditation and strange sensations in my body, I had plenty of time to reflect on my life. This was really helpful. 
• Also, for the first time, I realised the significance of charity. I was overwhelmed by the idea of using charity for a noble cause- to help people get out of the root of all the problems-"our own minds". I felt tremendous respect for everyone who had been donating to this organization. It is only because of them, I could experience it. I am eternally grateful to them. 
• I started loving Buddha for what he is. He is a man of reason.

The pulp:

I realised the impracticality of its application in the real world. In fact, I realised this on the 9th day and excused myself from the place. "The vibe is good. It works as long as I am here. But what happens after I go outside?"This thought haunted me. 

The real world is not like this place. I was not interested in permanently leaving the real world to experience this.

The world is a great place. I love nature. But I also like Science. I like the Creation. But I also like the things and tools human minds create. When I used the touchscreen mobile for the first time, I was overjoyed. The news of Humans going into Space excites me. When I see a beautiful piece of architecture, I wonder who or what minds created it. I enjoy Music. When I think of the doctors who can bypass the heart's functioning to a machine, operate on it, and put it back, I can't help but wonder about the marvels of the human mind.

Vipassana meditation surely is a great tool gifted by the great Buddha to reflect and understand reality, and it gave me some extraordinary experiences as well. I am immensely grateful to him. But I thought there is a missing link. Perhaps, I missed the point somewhere or perhaps, I was not ready.

Anyway, after the experience, it took some time for me to adjust to the real world. I tried to preserve the good vibes for some time, but as expected, they vanished. My monkey mind came back to the forefront in the real world. Perhaps this is why mystics choose to live as recluses.

The Nectar:

The core message of Vipassana is this- 

"The mind we identify ourselves with, does not stay in the present. Observe your thoughts-either it goes to the past (hence the longing, regrets, guilt, nostalgia), or it goes to the future (hence the anxieties, worries, fear, excitement). Don't react to them. Just witness. Stay in the present. Also, observe that 'the present' is also passing phase. Witness it. Observe it yourself and decide for yourself."

Though we all feel like we already know this, experiencing this first-hand is a different ball game altogether. I think everyone should experience this at least once in their life.

Apart from meditation, the thinking time I got at this place was really helpful. I got some amazing insights.

One of the greatest insights was that "I don't like my job, but I have been pushing that thought to the background. I am afraid to face it."

The metric was simple- "Every day after waking up, I am not looking forward to going to the office. When my ankle was broken, I was happy that I got a break from the office. When I came to the meditation centre, I was happy that I was away from the office." 

Out of the 16 hours of waking time, more than half is spent at a place doing an activity, and I did not like it. On top of it, I was evading this. This, I felt, was a serious thing, and I decided to do something about it.

Though I was clear about what I don't want, I was not clear about what I actually wanted. 

While I was still trying to figure this out, COVID happened.

What happened in COVID?

Is the effect positive or negative?

Did I sort out what I wanted in my life? Click here to know

By the way, if you are curious about Vipassana meditation, Click here.